This sacrament seems to have more names than any other sacrament of the Church. Even the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the official summary of Church teaching, offers several: conversion, penance, confes­sion, forgiveness, and reconciliation (cf. CCC, nn. 1423-1424). Don't worry about using the "right" name for it. The people with whom you worship probably use one or another of the most common terms: sacra­ment of Reconciliation or the sacrament of Penance. Many Catholics, by habit, refer to "going to Confes­sion." Each of the available names says something im­portant about the sacrament.

Conversion, which means, "to turn completely," describes a movement that takes place inside us. When a Christian becomes aware of damage done to a relationship, whether with God or another person, the first sign of hope is a desire to turn away from that behavior and toward a deeper life in Christ. A conversion is a complete turning, where a failed be­havior or outlook is put aside and a new way is sought.

The sacrament proclaims and celebrates this inner spiritual movement.

Penance is an action undertaken to repair or show sorrow for wrongdoing. It is a demonstration to God, to oneself, and to those who may have been hurt that real change is beginning to take place. Sometimes a person who apologizes much but changes little is told, "I'll believe it when I see it." Penance is action that helps to turn a desire to change into a reality.

Confession is the telling of sins. In the case of

the sacrament, sins are told to a priest. The priest has no personal interest in the sins of others, but listens because it is good for the soul to say out loud to some­one what we have done. To use images, confession cleanses the soul and lifts the burden of guilt. Con­fession gets the burden "off our chest."

Forgiveness is what we seek. Jesus Christ's death on the cross has brought the reality of forgiveness of sins to every created soul; through Christ, we have been "set right" with God. But our sins damage that harmonious relationship. To restore it, we must seek from God a renewal of forgiveness. God freely for­gives our sins. We prove our sincerity by the actions we take: apology and reparation.

Reconciliation is the action of unity once more being experienced among separated persons. Friends, spouses, relatives, co-workers or acquaintances who have been divided by misunderstanding, fear, or of­fense, find relief and even deep joy in drawing close once more. Because God is the source of all healing love, God is always present when reconciliation oc­curs. Our relationship with God and the Church, as well as with those we may have hurt, is renewed and strengthened through reconciliation.

Each of the terms used in the Catechism sheds light on a different value given to us by God in this sacrament. As becomes obvious, using this sacrament is much more than a routine religious practice. It is a useful, practical way of keeping our relationship with God and others strong. It is an essential tool for keep­ing relationships centered in Christian faith.

One Sacrament, Four Parts

In order to receive God's forgiveness through this sacrament, the penitent (the one making the confes­sion) and the priest complete four steps. The first is confession. It is necessary for the penitent to tell his or her sins to the priest. This is done privately, and the priest is never allowed to refer to those sins, to anyone. This absolute confidentiality allows the peni­tent to reveal all sources of shame and guilt without worrying that they will be revealed. The second part is contrition. Contrition means sorrow. In some way, usually by a memorized prayer, the penitent tells the priest that he or she is truly sorry for having commit­ted these sins and will make every effort not to re­peat them. If a person is not sorry there is no point in seeking forgiveness. The third step is penance. The priest asks the penitent to perform some spiritual or charitable work. As mentioned above, the purpose of penance is to begin the work of change. The penance is completed after the penitent departs from the priest. The final step is absolution. The priest prays a spe­cific prayer over the penitent. These beautiful words summarize God's loving work through Christ. They also, through the power of the Holy Spirit, release the soul of the penitent from the burden of sin. As far as God is concerned, the sin disappears from history.

Why Must I Tell My Sins to a Priest?

Maybe you have asked yourself this question or have heard it discussed among others. People will say, "God is everywhere. God knows my heart and God knows my sorrow. Why can't I receive God's forgiveness through my private prayer? Why should I tell another person?" Even those who have made use of this sacrament for years, sometimes wish that they could avoid speaking to a priest. Admitting our sins is hard-we simply don't like to embarrass our­selves! So, why do we have to?

It's true that God is everywhere and knows us. God knows us better than we know ourselves. God is also eager to forgive us and to welcome us into a life of deeper love and faithfulness. But the Church, based on the words of Jesus Christ, requires that sins be confessed to a priest for the sacramental forgiveness to take place.

Jesus knows well that we human beings need encouragement to face our problems and responsi­bilities. Christ knows that we are easily ashamed of our mistakes and would prefer to hide them away.  He also knows that our hidden mistakes are never removed if no one can get at them. So, the Risen Lord Jesus gave to his Apostles a share in his ministry of reconciliation. Jesus Christ wanted others to be able to help those who sin with the same generous love and understanding he displayed in his ministry. So, after he rose from the dead, Jesus "...breathed on [the Apostles] and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained'" (In 20:22b-23). As with all the sacraments, an action of Christ is the source of this one. Jesus has invited others, representing himself, to share in the careful work of bringing God's healing love to the pain of sin and guilt.

There is obvious wisdom in Christ's involving another person (the priest) in our forgiveness. God desires our healing to be a fully human one and so it must involve another person, because our sins have hurt others. The structure of sacramental confession makes us give voice to our sins. That means we have to think carefully about our lives and speak our sins out loud. This forces us to take responsibility. It helps us to appreciate the damage we have done by our actions. It is not that God wants us to feel awful about ourselves. Rather, God wants us to be realis­tic so that we can seek and accept a healing that matches the injury.

Another value found in sacramental confession is the response given by the priest. The priest is ex­pected to listen carefully and respond to the penitent with mature and fitting guidance. We cannot give ourselves such advice. Nor does God ordinarily do so, except through others.

Still another benefit in bringing our sins to the sacrament is in the penance we are given. The priest asks us to fulfill some work of prayer, charity, or repa­ration to help to make up for what we have done. This is an assignment that must be completed before the forgiveness takes effect. If it were only up to us, we might never assign ourselves such as task. The sacrament of Penance provides a structure where we find what we need in order to seek and to experience God's mercy in the fullest possible way.

So, what seems to be an embarrassing require­ment is, actually, a carefully structured method de­signed by God that will bring us a rich experience and valuable insight. There God goes again, doing things for our own good!

Deciding What to Confess

Most of the time we approach this sacrament knowing what to confess. Through feelings of guilt, our heart tells us our faults. We have a good sense of how we have not met the standards by which we hope to live. Our sins stand out because we feel ashamed. However, our guilty feelings do not al­ways provide a complete and accurate account. In some cases, we are unaware of the damage caused by certain actions. In other cases, we may feel overly guilty for something insignificant. We humans can get kind of weird about guilt sometimes. Here the Church helps us to relax. The Church reaches into its vast experience to help us separate the guilt of sin from other bad feelings. Therefore, it is helpful to consider our lives according to guidelines given to us by God through the Church. The idea behind such guidelines is to see clearly.

Before taking a look at our behavior, we need a clear definition of sin. Sin is not only something that makes us feel bad or ashamed, but it is a harmful action that is done intentionally and with the knowl­tion or participating thoughtfully in the Penitential Rite at the beginning of the Eucharistic Celebration.

Even if you are not aware of having committed mortal sin, it is good not to remain too long without receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation. The Church requires that each member of the Church con­fess any mortal sin at least once a year (cf. Code of Canon Law, n. 989). Also, if we are aware of mortal sin, we are not to receive Holy Communion without first receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation (cf. Code of Canon Law, n. 916). But beyond these rules, the Church encourages frequent use of this sacrament. Regular self-examination, confession, and penance help us to stay close to God and one another. Going to confession once a month is not too often. The sac­rament of Reconciliation is a healing encounter with God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Practiced re­sponsibly by both penitent and priest, it is always a good thing.

Examining One's Conscience

Conscience is the name we give to a kind of inner voice, which speaks with­out words. It leads us toward good and away from evil. Conscience also makes judgments about that which we have already done. It is a sacred part of each person, given to us by God, helping us to know how to follow Christ faithfully.

An important part of preparing for the sacrament of Reconciliation is an "examination of conscience." During this exercise, the penitent sets time aside to think and to pray. The main question to ask ourselves is: how well have I been living as a disciple of Jesus Christ, and where have I failed?

Sometimes, we can answer this question imme­diately. There will be obvious examples of failure. Each of us has long-established patterns of weakness. We find ourselves making the same mistakes and committing the same sins repeatedly, the "old stand­bys" that keep us awake at night. But there are also more subtle ways in which we stray from Christ's example. Sin hides well. By looking at ourselves care­fully, though, we may discover the unexpected sins in our lives. We may even be able to see patterns of sin that we did not recognize before. Clarity is the purpose of examining one's conscience. By seeing more clearly, we are better able to seek the help we need. By seeking help, we become freer in our draw­ing closer to God.

We sometimes need a way of identifying and understanding our own sins. To move toward this, first pray to God for clarity. Ask God to help you to see and accept the particular sins for which you are responsible. Then explore your behavior since your last confession. Various guide­lines are helpful. The Beatitudes (cf. Mt 5), St. Paul's list of the works of the flesh (cf. Gal 5: 19-21), or the Seven Deadly Sins (pride, anger, lust, greed, sloth, gluttony, envy) provide useful structures.

Follow this link for an example of how one can examine their conscience based on the Ten Commandments...

Okay, It's Time

When you have reflected on the presence of sin in your life, and have identified those sins which you have committed since the last time you went to con­fession, give thanks to God for God's guidance and contact a priest.

Most parishes have scheduled times for the sac­rament. Often they are on Saturday afternoon, prior to the first Eucharistic Celebration of the weekend. You may always telephone the rectory and set up an appointment with a priest for another time, if that is more convenient.

It was mentioned earlier that the celebration of this sacrament is a private matter. Prior to the updat­ing of this ritual in the 1970s, almost every confes­sion was heard in a "confessional box." The priest sat in a small dark compartment. The penitent entered a similarly darkened space attached to the priest's box. The penitent knelt down and the conversation took place through a screen. In this way, the priest did not know the penitent's identity. Many parishes and shrines still make this style available.

When the ritual was revised, an option to meet the priest face to face was established. Many parishes have built a special room for the celebration of the sacrament. In this room, the penitent may still kneel before a screen, preserving anonymity. Or the peni­tent may walk around the screen and sit across from the priest. If you are going to meet with the priest by appointment and wish not to be known, this may be arranged, too. You'll have to discuss how when you call.

When you and the priest are ready, make the sign of the cross. Then tell the priest how long it has been since your last confession or if this is your first one. Tell the priest your sins. Listen carefully to his comments. Ask for clarification if you need it. Make sure you understand the penance he gives you. The penance should be both reasonable and possible to complete. If you feel the penance is too difficult or for some other reason you cannot fulfill it, please let the priest know.

Pray aloud an Act of Contrition or words of your own choosing which express your sorrow and resolution to change. Listen to the priest as he prays the words of absolution. Through God's power and mercy, these words lift the burden of sin from your soul.

Complete the penance you have been given as soon as possible. Your efforts to live humbly and hon­estly in God's presence will surely be blessed.

                                                                                          - Father Bill Murphy

 Click on the links below for more information on this very special sacrament.

 Catechism of the Catholic Church

How to Celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation Today

Ten Tips for Better Confessions: The Gift of Reconciliation

The Sacrament of Reconciliation: Celebrating God's Forgiveness

Preparing for Confession: Taking Your Spiritual Temperature

Reconciliation: An Experience of Forgiveness